Got this as a bulletin on myspace from a friend of mine, I found it mildly amusing so I thought I'd share.
Your Tax Rebate:
The federal government is sending some of us a $600 rebate.
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
If you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and
Guatemala .
If you purchase a good car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan
The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, weed, beer, and tattoos, since these are the only products still produced in the USA .
Thank you for your help and please support the USA .
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Mummy Movie #3
I really enjoyed the 1999 release of The Mummy. I'm a sucker for a good action adventure movie. It also didn't hurt that one of my top 5 favorite babes was in it, Rachel Weisz. The sequel was just OK but at least she was in it too. The references to the previous mummy were used way to much in the sequel, and it became tedious. The CGI Scorpion King at the end was a joke too. Just awful.
The first of August will see the release of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I'm sure the movie will do it's best to capture the free wheeling fun and adventure of the previous two installments but I do have a gripe. Maria Bello instead of Rachel Weisz as Evelyn? This is bad news for me! Can she even fake an english accent? I know English and Australian actors can fake an American accent flawlessly but I'm not sold. Plus Bello isn't as hot to me as Weisz is.
Regardless I'll probably still check this movie out, just for nostalgia. Jet Li is in it as well (I assume as the bad guy mummy) so there will be lots of good fight scenes. I'm a sucker for some good kung-fu, and kung-pao!
-Twiz
The first of August will see the release of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I'm sure the movie will do it's best to capture the free wheeling fun and adventure of the previous two installments but I do have a gripe. Maria Bello instead of Rachel Weisz as Evelyn? This is bad news for me! Can she even fake an english accent? I know English and Australian actors can fake an American accent flawlessly but I'm not sold. Plus Bello isn't as hot to me as Weisz is.
Regardless I'll probably still check this movie out, just for nostalgia. Jet Li is in it as well (I assume as the bad guy mummy) so there will be lots of good fight scenes. I'm a sucker for some good kung-fu, and kung-pao!
-Twiz
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Political Confidence, or lack thereof?
I am by no means up to date on politics in this great nation of ours, but I did catch this article and had to post a response.
And in local news, a school bond was narrowly defeated in my home county. It seems that the voters of this area just don't get it. Well, let me break it down for you this way. You have to spend money to make money. The middle schools in this county are dilapidated and ancient. If we, the people, pass a school bond to improve the conditions of said middle schools maybe it would be a step in the right direction to a better education system. Just a thought. I don't have any kids and I can see this clearly. Yes it would increase the grownups taxes, but maybe the kids will be smarter in the long run because of it.
And finally, Hillary stomped Obama in the West Virginia elections. Obama didn't even bother visiting the state, and quite honestly I don't blame him. There are a fair number of the population here that think segregation should still be in effect. Thankfully most of these morons don't even vote, so that's a good thing. I'm not 100% sold on either one of them honestly, but that is the way it is in politics. I think it's a real shame when talking about presidential elections the phrase that I hear more often than not is "well, I voted for so and so because they seemed to be the lesser of two evils." I can understand that, it's how I've voted every four years since I turned eighteen.
-Twiz
Dear Republicans,
It's not just you we have lost confidence in. The majority of us have lost confidence in the entire political system. This country needs enemas on the National, State, and County levels.
And in local news, a school bond was narrowly defeated in my home county. It seems that the voters of this area just don't get it. Well, let me break it down for you this way. You have to spend money to make money. The middle schools in this county are dilapidated and ancient. If we, the people, pass a school bond to improve the conditions of said middle schools maybe it would be a step in the right direction to a better education system. Just a thought. I don't have any kids and I can see this clearly. Yes it would increase the grownups taxes, but maybe the kids will be smarter in the long run because of it.
And finally, Hillary stomped Obama in the West Virginia elections. Obama didn't even bother visiting the state, and quite honestly I don't blame him. There are a fair number of the population here that think segregation should still be in effect. Thankfully most of these morons don't even vote, so that's a good thing. I'm not 100% sold on either one of them honestly, but that is the way it is in politics. I think it's a real shame when talking about presidential elections the phrase that I hear more often than not is "well, I voted for so and so because they seemed to be the lesser of two evils." I can understand that, it's how I've voted every four years since I turned eighteen.
-Twiz
Friday, May 9, 2008
Billiards,,,,,I PWN!!!11
I made my monthly trip to the local bar where "everybody knows my name" and had a few beers. Now, this is where it gets weird.
A guy I know named Scott came up and said, "Hey, you wanna get in on this (impromptu) pool tournament?" Since I had a few beers already churning in my stomach I said sure.
I suck at pool. That's it, end of discussion. Including myself there were six people in this billiards extraordinar1e, making the grand prize for winning this thing a whopping thirty bucks. The first game I shot I veritably smoked a man that is far superior in the trigonometry of pool than I am. That was surprise enough! The second game I lost to a douche bag that I have never trusted, and for good reason as he spreads drama like kids spread peanut butter on PB&J sandwiches!
Third game comes around I am shooting against an old friend of mine. She is far better at pool than I pretend to be but, somehow, she scratches on the eight ball so I'm off to the next round!
By this point I am pretty well lit up, so the details get foggy. Apparently I won the next game against a guy I have known since kindergarten. Every time I've seen this cat at the bar he has been shooting pool & to my untrained eye he seems to have some skills. Apparently these skills mean exactly shit as I soundly beat him with four of his balls still left on the table.
Now to the final. I have to shoot against the only person that beat me. That's right, the untrustworthy douche bag.
I pull out all the stops. Sure the purse for the event is only thirty dollars, but this guy has talked shit on me in the past which has caused me some degree of problems. Imagine, if you will, an NBA player talking shit to an opponent. Or maybe a wide receiver in the NFL talking trash to an opposing cornerback. I was Deion Sanders and Allen Iverson all rolled up into the body of an overweight white boy. I talked the talk and I walked the walk. I went to my extensive library of ghetto speak and talked trash. We both got down to just the eight ball and after several very shitty leaves, the douche bag left me with a shot that I could not miss. Needless to say I made the shot. I even looked him in the eye as I hit the cue ball like Tom Cruise did it in The Color of Money.
Was it right to talk smack and be a complete dick? Maybe not. But tonight, because of my mediocre pool skills and my big mouth, I was a champion. I'm a firm believer of take your victories where you can, so I am taking this one to the bank.
-Twiz
A guy I know named Scott came up and said, "Hey, you wanna get in on this (impromptu) pool tournament?" Since I had a few beers already churning in my stomach I said sure.
I suck at pool. That's it, end of discussion. Including myself there were six people in this billiards extraordinar1e, making the grand prize for winning this thing a whopping thirty bucks. The first game I shot I veritably smoked a man that is far superior in the trigonometry of pool than I am. That was surprise enough! The second game I lost to a douche bag that I have never trusted, and for good reason as he spreads drama like kids spread peanut butter on PB&J sandwiches!
Third game comes around I am shooting against an old friend of mine. She is far better at pool than I pretend to be but, somehow, she scratches on the eight ball so I'm off to the next round!
By this point I am pretty well lit up, so the details get foggy. Apparently I won the next game against a guy I have known since kindergarten. Every time I've seen this cat at the bar he has been shooting pool & to my untrained eye he seems to have some skills. Apparently these skills mean exactly shit as I soundly beat him with four of his balls still left on the table.
Now to the final. I have to shoot against the only person that beat me. That's right, the untrustworthy douche bag.
I pull out all the stops. Sure the purse for the event is only thirty dollars, but this guy has talked shit on me in the past which has caused me some degree of problems. Imagine, if you will, an NBA player talking shit to an opponent. Or maybe a wide receiver in the NFL talking trash to an opposing cornerback. I was Deion Sanders and Allen Iverson all rolled up into the body of an overweight white boy. I talked the talk and I walked the walk. I went to my extensive library of ghetto speak and talked trash. We both got down to just the eight ball and after several very shitty leaves, the douche bag left me with a shot that I could not miss. Needless to say I made the shot. I even looked him in the eye as I hit the cue ball like Tom Cruise did it in The Color of Money.
Was it right to talk smack and be a complete dick? Maybe not. But tonight, because of my mediocre pool skills and my big mouth, I was a champion. I'm a firm believer of take your victories where you can, so I am taking this one to the bank.
-Twiz
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