I Fell in to a Burning Ring (of Lights) Part 3

Yes, Yes, there was a part two. Part 2 of Burning Ring is a study of inbound phone receiving ineptitude. I have a little experience in this field and if I got caught doing what one of these guys does to me, I would have been fired.

The first person I spoke with to get my xbox fixed up was Gary. Gary's accent was heavy with inflections and vowel sounds that I am not at all familiar with. Not to sound like too much of a racist douche bag, if the ink on his green card was dry I would be quite surprised. Anyhow, he sets up the order for my repair and I am happy. Three days go by and by this point I am getting nervous. I was supposed to have received a shipping label within twelve to twenty-four hours via email so I could mail out my sick xbox via UPS. I decide to make another call to the entity of Microsoft to see what the hell is going on...

That's when I talk to Frank. Now I will sound like a racist douche bag. I could tell by Frank's accent, inflections, vowel usage, and general attitude, that he is of Middle Eastern decent. The ink probably wasn't dry on his green card either. Most likely "Frank" is originally from Saudi Arabia but I am no expert. If we are going to be truly "frank" Frank, why don't you use your real name? Probably because corporate has decided that my squishy, charmin soft, American sensibilities can't even hear the names Abdul, Habib, or Qasim without seeing red.

"Frank" tells me everything is ok and tells me he is going to fix everything right up. Again I am happy. I just want my damn XBox to work.

I got busy and four days go by. No email from Microsoft again and by this point I am annoyed. I make call number three to their computer operated switchboard and after mashing the # button and the * button on my phone for about 3 minutes I get a real live person.

This one's name? Tank. I shit you not. I can't make this stuff up. Tank actually has an "American" accent so I have my fingers crossed. I resist the urge to ask him if he was once a varsity football player and proceed to handle my business explaining to him the circle jerk that Gary and Frank have put me through. Tank don't fool around. He finds out in less than 30 seconds that UPS doesn't recognize my street address and that is why I haven't got my shipping label. I give him my work address and he tells me that I should have my shipping label, in at the most, 24 hours. I say to myself yeah right, tell Tank to have a great evening, and get off the phone.

Four hours later I check my email and get a surprise. An email from Microsoft with *gasp* LABELS!!!!

Next day I gather up my Xbox, go to the UPS Store, pay the young man behind the counter for some packaging materials, and off my Xbox goes to somewhere in Texas.

So that's where I stand now. My XBox is still in Texas getting fixed. I don't see how anything else could go wrong, but I've been proven wrong before and on numerous occasions.

-Twiz

A chuckle for me, hope you get one too...

Husbands... Don't try this at home...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.


The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

John Mayer Butchering a classic

Dear John,

Don't do this ever again.



Thank you,
-Twiz

I Fell in to a Burning Ring (of Lights)

Apologies to Johnny Cash...

Ahhh console gaming. I spent about 4 hours of quality time with my new XBox 360, playing through the beginning missions of Grand Theft Auto 4. All was well and I was quite happy indeed! The next day I go to turn on my Xbox to play a little more and that's when it happened. The dreaded "red flashing ring of light." It's basically a dummy light for the system like a check engine light is too a car. The word vague comes to mind.

I had heard about this problem with the Xbox 360's, of course, so it wasn't totally unknown to me. I also heard how the makers of the Xbox, Microsoft, had a HUGE recall. I thought I was safe. Obviously, I thought wrong. My friend I got the Xbox off of had no problems whatsoever with it, so I must be the luckiest guy in the world! Now I have to print up some labels, go to Fed Ex or UPS, mail my Xbox to Microsoft, and wait for them to mail it back to me. Guess I'll have to wait to return to Liberty City for a few weeks.

-Twiz

SAD FACE!

One of my favorite comedians, Bernie Mac, died in Chicago yesterday. Bernie was great and he will be missed. Fifty years old was too young.

-Twiz

This never happens to me

You ever here of those people who just fall into good deals? You know the type, "I just bought this car that has a blue book value of twenty thousand dollars for a mere ten thousand" or "I just got a killer deal on forty acres of land." Well, turns out the sun does shine on a dogs ass some days and the other day I was the aforementioned dog's ass.

I got my mitts on a barely used Xbox 360 for less than half the price of a new one. I've always been a computer gamer but the chance at a top of the line gaming console for a mere 125 bux was too sweet to pass up. Seeing as how a brand new Xbox 360 retails for 300 plus tax I don't feel guilty at all about splurging on it. Naturally, when I took delivery of the Xbox I promptly went to wal-mart and purchased Grand Theft Auto IV. Luckily my buddy put me on a payment plan as I didn't have the cash right then to give to him for it. All I gave him was a twenty dollar down payment and I figure I can pay him off totally in about a week, two at the most.

Now all I need to do is get my hands on an HDTV for around the same price and I'll be really good to go!

-Twiz